Memoirs..

Glow is a type or dark arts.... Used by many many .... It is something you do...with words...with energies.....and also in abuse of meditation Glow can make even the most unhealthy , ugly even old soul and person to seem like the sun itself... A a sun child...a someone whomever they wish to impress....will make belive they are...or wish they where..... Glow can be a very strong force in humans hands....all depending on the persona, their experience in usage of it....and their own psychic abilities..... It is normal today to use the dark arts Glow in all sorts of situation...there are even books in so called self esteem sorts...that without a nugde of warning spread the ways of achieving this quality..... People use it to get jobs, ,,,to get influence....to get things in life....and as they achieve it...they will grant themself as spiritually evolved.... While actually they are little to less of just this...... Because glow is  a dark force..... and should not be...

Truly....to be an illusionist doesnt mean to forget my values.... or things i know...and pretend to be cake stupid.... but..i think...there are yes..people who wish power over others soo badly... that they would yes put energy into pretendending beyond what is socially acceptable .....in life itself.... pretend...to be something you are not.... i have seen it often in life... People doing all sorts to get where they wish.... but surely...the lowest sorts is those who will jump to pretend something to fetch a amoure...... I myself have eperience that....men....men many many men....who pretended to be something they never truly could be.... Like as if by smell...instinct and wits....they could calculate exactly what i was looking for... and played the role well first few months..until the masks fall... and surely one feels cheated to realize you where fooled utterly.... I am not speaking of finding a perfect persona.... But surely some qualities are certainly my...

the mongrels... they barge and binge over whatever first lands in front of them they never seek beauty in the world... they just want it all....all...all...until there is nothing left.... and if they sence true...anything true...they will certainly not apreciate...rather mold it into a fasette until they kill it....or try to make it plastic.... plastic high fabrications...of fabrications...and fabrications of the exact same organism... Humans into dots..of beings that are not....multi fabrications of tons of plastic little soldiers saluting to the flags of silicone..... Cause tin soldiers died....they died,...o course...they where made of tin....tins a crude real material...a life form if you may.... not poison...alike plastic... and faithfully the plastic soldiers march towards their gathered same destiny..... and alike humans before...before the age of true insanaty...came... they checked....and where quite good at spotting real silver...real gold....and all so...

Nonesence with your isolation alienation emotions ... Nobody knows here about any separation in the world ... only I know and northern light and we feel this  ... you are dancing around the golden calf, always And forever, what can you say ...  hipocrites ... in fact ... nothing will ever change ... things will always be in this way ... always ... maybe take a nap for you ,  You can pretend to fool me...for a secund ....  digging of gold, fate hunters, full of hunger money mongrels ... and dead souls .. . in hiding disguises ... should be ourselves ... one must always walk alone ... in the end. ... nonsense ...  no ... no ... and no more .... talking to all ...  monsters demons, angels ....  as the space Gods and farmers. . you all feel quite at home...with you own..demonic citezens and dark age valley... all quite at home...nobody of you ever even thought of death... i do not hate you but yes, you all make...

Love is something a mother feels.... Love is something children share.... Romantic love is something felt from the heart....and then Into the body.... Never into the body and then to the heart....that is Eros...erotic love A grip...that can confuse us... And even confuse a nation.....with vile sexuality...perversity and Radical violence.....where the weakest are at stake.... A person who knows not how to surrender their Hearts to true love.... True love...is a person worth of your love A person who is worth of your love..is someone Who gives you that which you seek...need and Makes you feel love..... Those who run with love alike a moth playing around The the light will always be no more then moths Playing around with the light...getting their wings burned Always ....living in the illusion that the light is the sun... And that they are flying and feeling the warmth of the light of day.... Dreaming and most of all fooling themselfs that this is it.. .the...

Talking in half delusive ...whispering to herself....she says.....-She dreamed of sitting here ....with him.... He-  to whome....?  me or another one - you the only one who gives me carusel rides....mmmm He- I love you Gives her a small kiss on her cheek  yes i feel you in my life i feel warm She kisses his hand as it carreses her face.... .- i hope you liked the letter i sendt you..... Takes her close to him and holds......gives her a kiss.....softly....then more intense...tasting she shape of her underlip...until he bites on her lip She - i loved yours.....your letter i mean....